Jun 28, 2010
Fairness
In our work with parents and children - actually in our life experience as parents ourselves - we've noted the pre-occupation youth have with what is "fair".
"That's not fair!", we've heard our kids lament. Once as a parent responding to my oldest's complaint that life isn't fair, all I could say was, "and don't you EVER forget that!".
The World Cup soccer event ongoing in South Africa recently gave us a clear reminder that what is fair or unfair can be very painful. I'm no real soccer follower except at select games in the World Cup every few years, but near the end of the recent USA vs Slovenia game, the US team went up 3 to 2 with a goal, which was immediately disallowed by the referee. Explanation of the foul was not forthcoming. People were in utter disbelief. The referee, and later the Fifa WCS administrators concluded no explanation was necessary, not only of the decision but also as to what the foul was. It felt like the frustrated parent, for lack of a logical response for something, said in answer as to why , "Because I said so!!!". A real flex of muscle, though no real logic involved.
Personally, I believe there is a limit to the extent of explanation people need for every decision. We cannot explain things to everything's satisfaction. Yet, in the interest of fairness, at least a modicum of logic, or at least a response, is in order.
Fairness is a great virtue, but life isn't always fair. Good lesson to teach our kids, and remind ourselves
- JJ
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