The following information is taken from Pathological Gambling and Chemical Dependency: Similarities and Unique Characteristics by Sandra Brustuen and Gregory Gabriel and comments from Steve Dentinger of Gamblers Intervention Services. In their publication, Brustuen and Gabriel identify three factors which distinguish families that have been affected by pathological gambling from families impacted by chemical dependency: 1) confusion, 2) anger and 3) the need to move quickly to protect family assets.

Confusion

Brustuen and Gabriel explain that, "Due to the secrecy that attends pathological gambling and the swift progression of the disease, the family members of pathological gamblers frequently do not comprehend what is happening (when the gambler is in action.) They might sense that something is amiss and yet not know exactly what it is. Pathological gambling takes the family by surprise. The children of an alcoholic might know the problem is that their mother or father comes stumbling home drunk but the children of a pathological gambler might not have a clue as to what is wrong.

"Since family members are seldom aware of the pathological gambling of their loved one, they are often unable to change any of their own behavior that might be contributing to or enabling the gambling. Unlike the spouse of an alcoholic who will sometimes actively work to cover up intoxicated behavior, the spouse of a pathological gambler may have no knowledge of any problem until the secrecy of a financial or legal disaster is discovered."

Steve Dentinger, Director of Gamblers Intervention Services in Duluth, states that, "in most cases, families find out about the gambling problem through creditors contacting them about bad debts and families are often shocked over the total amount of money." This debt leaves families with fear and insecurity of what the financial future holds for them. Dentinger adds that, "financial planners can become an important component of a treatment team for the family of a pathological gambler."

Problem gambler lose an average of $25,000. Plus whatever's in their wallets.

Anger

"The family members of pathological gamblers commonly experience anger or rage when the depths of their financial losses due to gambling are disclosed during treatment. They exhibit tremendous hostility, almost a vengeful indignation. 'What do you mean you did not pay the income taxes in April?' a man bellowed at his wife. 'How could you do this to me?' 'Don't tell me about any disease!' thundered a wife of a pathological gambler. 'That's just an excuse!'" Dentinger adds that, "Inherent in pathological gambling is dishonesty, manipulation and isolation from loved ones. Family members are left confused and angry.

"A study of violence in families where pathological gambling is a factor found explosive anger that is engendered in the family members of pathological gamblers (The National Council On Problem Gambling). The family members of alcoholics may have reason to fear violence from their alcoholic, but the family members of a pathological gambler seem to be more likely to perpetrate the violent acts."

The Need to Move Quickly to Protect Family Assets

"While family members of an alcoholic might be counseled to 'detach with love' from the alcoholic in their life and to take steps to safeguard their own physical well-being, the first priority for the family of a pathological gambler is to take measures to protect its financial assets.

"If the pathological gambler and spouse have a joint bank account, or if both of their names appear on credit cards, it is imperative that the spouse of the pathological gambler move swiftly to protect himself or herself financially. Usually, the spouse will need to take over all of the financial management of the family, as money is the substance of abuse for a pathological gambler.

"There is a growing need for mental health and social service professionals to be aware of both the potential for gambling problems to exist among their clients and the effects of problem gambling on families of pathological gamblers. Increasing debt, the inability to meet day to day expenses, emotional stress and physical and emotional abuse can lead the families of pathological gamblers to critical stages of desperation. There is a growing need to offer counseling services and support groups for families of pathological gamblers." For more information and resources, contact the Minnesota Compulsive Gambling Hotline at

1-800-437-3641.