November 1999

What should I say? What can I do?

What should you do when a friend or family member is gambling too much, or at inappropriate times, or is acting in ways that are upsetting? What should you say?

• Tell the person that you care about him/her.
• Tell the person exactly what he/she has done that concerns you.
• Tell the person how you feel about the way you see him/her acting. "I get really angry when you borrow money and don't pay it back. I get really scared when I think about how we're going to pay the bills."
• After you tell the person that you care, what you've seen and how you feel, it's important to be willing to listen to what he/she says.
• Tell the person what you would like to see him/her do.
• Tell the person what you are willing and able to do to help.

Finding Help

If the behavior that concerns you does not change, seems to be getting worse or if you discover a serious problem, additional help may be necessary. Assisting a person to get the best help available is often the most caring action anyone can take. Remember, like other addictions, gambling is treatable.

New Video Available

What Should I Say? What Can I Do? are two questions often asked by people that are concerned about a loved one's gambling. This video is designed to help viewers share concerns about gambling problems with loved ones or friends. While there is no foolproof way to share concern with another person, the steps outlined on this video have worked well for many people. Content is appropriate for settings ranging from high school classrooms to adult forums, to civic and social group meetings. It is available for free loan or can be purchased for $50. Call the Minnesota Compulsive Gambling Hotline at 1-800-437-3641 for more information.

Gambling Problems Resource Center
2720 Highway 10
Mounds View, MN 55112
763-427-5310